Sunday, January 24, 2010
home church.
I went to house church today at the Gays. I absolutely loved it. It was just what I needed. I think I will start going. For this season of my life I think it is the exact place for me to grow. It will force me to be transparent and vulnerable before God which I guess without realizing it...I haven't been completely. It is a beautiful small group of people who are real and honest with themselves and each other about their battlescars and current struggles. They lift one another up and discuss things they don't quite understand. I love it. I am so thankful God has brought me here.
Thursday, January 7, 2010
The snow is falling in georgia. softly, silently, falling.
It has something to say but it says it so quietly without words.
It covers the earth in stillness and somewhat a beautiful sadness about it.
I am at such an unrest within myself. I am unhappy within my own skin right now.
I feel fat, and ugly, my skin isn't right, my body feels huge, my eyes are infected forcing me to wear glasses and covering my face. I feel insecure and want to hide under a rock. Along with it I am gettin sick, my throat hurts and I am getting a cough. I hope it goes away before my trip next week.
I just want to feel...special. Taken care of.
It has something to say but it says it so quietly without words.
It covers the earth in stillness and somewhat a beautiful sadness about it.
I am at such an unrest within myself. I am unhappy within my own skin right now.
I feel fat, and ugly, my skin isn't right, my body feels huge, my eyes are infected forcing me to wear glasses and covering my face. I feel insecure and want to hide under a rock. Along with it I am gettin sick, my throat hurts and I am getting a cough. I hope it goes away before my trip next week.
I just want to feel...special. Taken care of.
Saturday, January 2, 2010
"love the one you're with"
"Yes, we were young, but in some ways, young love seems the most robust and idealistic, untarnished by everyday hardships."
"But thats what it all comes down to. Love, not as a surge of passion, but as a choice to commit to something, someone, no matter what obstacles or temptations stand in the way. And maybe making that choice, again and again, day in and day out, year after year, says more about love than never having a choice to make at all."
"I think of how life takes unexpected twists and turns, sometimes through sheer happenstance...sometimes through calculated decision..In the end, it can all be called fate, but to me, it is more a matter of faith."
"...no two loves are identical-but you don't have to compare anymore."
"LOVE is the sum of our choices, the strength of our commitments, the ties that bind us together."
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I just finished my first book of the new year. It is called: "love the one you're with" By Emily Giffin. It was so good. One thing I loved about it was the locations. It took place in New York City and Buckhead, Atlanta. (Two of my favorite cities that inhabit my heart!) The story is about a woman who is in a perfect relationship/marriage but then after bumping into an ex begins struggling with the question: "How can I truly love the one I am with when I can't forget the one who got away?" What she learns in the end is that sometimes, you have to do whatever it takes to be with the one you love. It is a raw and realistic dilemma that so many people face everyday. The profound truths that come out of it are so beautiful. The quotes above are my favorite...especially the last one. As I have always believed- Love is a Choice. Every single day. Even when you don't feel it, or things suck, you keep choosing to love and stay commited. That is what makes it so beautiful, so rare to find, that kind of love IS what makes this world go around. Not lust, not momentary satisfation, not the butterflies in the stomach, or the incontrollable passion that one can feel...No, it is the constancy, the standing firm throughout the storms and trials. That is why I can whole heartedly believe that "LOVE NEVER FAILS."
"But thats what it all comes down to. Love, not as a surge of passion, but as a choice to commit to something, someone, no matter what obstacles or temptations stand in the way. And maybe making that choice, again and again, day in and day out, year after year, says more about love than never having a choice to make at all."
"I think of how life takes unexpected twists and turns, sometimes through sheer happenstance...sometimes through calculated decision..In the end, it can all be called fate, but to me, it is more a matter of faith."
"...no two loves are identical-but you don't have to compare anymore."
"LOVE is the sum of our choices, the strength of our commitments, the ties that bind us together."
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I just finished my first book of the new year. It is called: "love the one you're with" By Emily Giffin. It was so good. One thing I loved about it was the locations. It took place in New York City and Buckhead, Atlanta. (Two of my favorite cities that inhabit my heart!) The story is about a woman who is in a perfect relationship/marriage but then after bumping into an ex begins struggling with the question: "How can I truly love the one I am with when I can't forget the one who got away?" What she learns in the end is that sometimes, you have to do whatever it takes to be with the one you love. It is a raw and realistic dilemma that so many people face everyday. The profound truths that come out of it are so beautiful. The quotes above are my favorite...especially the last one. As I have always believed- Love is a Choice. Every single day. Even when you don't feel it, or things suck, you keep choosing to love and stay commited. That is what makes it so beautiful, so rare to find, that kind of love IS what makes this world go around. Not lust, not momentary satisfation, not the butterflies in the stomach, or the incontrollable passion that one can feel...No, it is the constancy, the standing firm throughout the storms and trials. That is why I can whole heartedly believe that "LOVE NEVER FAILS."
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