life is fleeting.

I wake up this morning and breathe in.
I become aware of every sensation and feeling surrounding me...the air on my skin, my muscles and their pain and movement, the feeling of standing straight up on solid ground..and I remember that someone I love now did not wake up with these same sensations. Yesterday they did not know it would be their last morning to open their eyes. And I am slapped in the face with life's reality-that it is risky, un-guaranteed, and a twisted gift.

It is hard to smile. A flood of emotions and questions overwhelm me. Anger, hurt, heartache, longing, sadness..why? So young. Did he really complete his purpose for this world already? Why at 20 years old, and why in such an abrubt, painful, traumatic way?
It is hard to continue with life knowing someone I love..isn't.

It is hard to see God thru this. Its impossible to comprehend that this is part of some greater plan. To hold onto the idea that God is in control even when things look like utter chaos. I'm trying to see it thru Gods eyes not my own. But I am weak.

All I know is that life- this twisted gift, is something that every single person takes for granted everyday. We think that it is guaranteed, and expected, and that we deserve every day to live and continue and we forget that Someone else put us here. Instead every morning we should wake up suprised and excited that we were blessed with another chance, another day to strive. Because life slips by you, it is so quick, so unplanned. Live for today and don't waste one moment. Life is fleeting...

"Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes."
-James 4:14

Rest in Sweet Peace-- Michael Boyd.