im broken. you're gone.

"I will send you all the photos,cards, and book..its just too much to throw away."

Is it real? Did you really break my heart 7 days before Christmas?

I woke after 2 hours of sleep, weary. I feel empty, like there is now a large hole in the center of my chest where my heart once rested full. You carved it out and now I have nothing left. I could cry one million tears and still not be done. All I asked for for Christmas...was you. And instead I lost you. Yea, you have hurt me, haven't known how to love me fully, have disappointed me and disrespected me, but I am still in love with you. I forgave you each time and all I wanted was more of you. For you to finally let down your walls, and to open your heart to me and not compare me with your past. Because I finally stood up to you and told you how to treat me and how I felt....You walked away. And left me in a heap on the floor. I can't breathe. Pain sears through my pores. After all this time, how can you end things like this? How can you hurt me so much? Did you ever love me?

I'm broken. You are gone.
The mechanics take over and make me move through the motions. But I am empty, I have no feeling but the hollow pit of my chest and the burning sensation that you are gone. done.